The perfect parent

After being holed up in my house for weeks on end with sick kids I feel as though I, my children and my house are complete disasters. 

So, I was in need of a laugh and I found this small excerpt stashed away on my computer somewhere. This was something I found online awhile ago and sort of modified to apply it more to my life. Random. . . I know.

I hope all you moms out there can find it somewhat entertaining.

To all you “mommys” our there

The Perfect Parent 



I used to be a perfect parent. I had strong opinions about the best ways to raise a healthy happy, well-mannered child. I vowed that my children would appear well-groomed and clean at all times, they would be disciplined by firm, fair, and consistent parenting techniques, and they would always, always be well-behaved in public.

I used to think that any mother, whose child was inappropriately dressed and had Kool Aid stains around his lips before eleven o'clock in the morning, was obviously an unfit parent who spends her days talking on the phone -- and who serves fruit loops and popsicles for breakfast.

I also used to think that parents who let their children watch cartoons, instead of doing enriching activities together like reading, lacked self discipline and motivation. And those wild children who colored on walls or got into makeup were not being watched closely enough by their neglectful, lazy moms.  Before I had children I was going to be a good, health-conscious parent. Sugar would rarely, if ever, touch their lips.

My ideas were so straightforward and simple that I couldn't understand why other parents couldn't be as perfect as I was.

Then I had two children.

As it is, my children are allowed to eat anything they are willing to put in their mouths, including candy, cookies and junk food just so long as it quenches their appetites long enough for me to make a one course dinner (cause why make vegetables just to have them thrown on the floor?) 

Being immaculately dressed now consists of my children wearing pants OR a shirt (usually only one or the other at a time) that is either on backward, inside-out, or doesn't belong to that child in the first place; as long as it acts as at least a partial covering. It is a miraculous day if there are no obvious additions sticking in one or the other's hair. And laundry gets cleaned if, and only if there are obvious stains on both the outsides and insides of the clothing article, or if they've been completely soaked through with urine. 

Now I sometimes wonder how it would feel to appear in public with two orderly, quiet children with immaculate faces and clean clothes. I could shop without anyone repeating "I want that, Mommy" every three seconds like some sort of hypnotic mantra. Maybe I could even stop to look at something. Or enter a store, get only what I actually need, then leave!

But I have a feeling my life wouldn't be nearly as exciting. Besides, my children have taught me that being a good parent has a lot more to do with patience, commitment, and understanding, than looking like we’ve got it together.

That doesn’t mean that I don’t try though J

Happy mommyhood! Wish me luck on getting a handle on these guys and this place this week!